Did I mention I don’t like flying?

So for a guy who isn’t fond of flying I sure seem to do a lot it lately. This time we were flying Continental. The new rules regarding luggage are in full swing and with a restriction of just one bag per person it is getting quite expensive for me to travel with the act. I shipped two of the cases via FedEx to Louisville as it was more economical. Sure hope they arrive!

The first flight was interesting. We had two flight attendants who were really not interested in … well anything. My favorite moments were when a passenger asked if they new which terminal we would be arriving at in Houston. Her responses was “that’s a question you should ask some who cares ..” . I know you think I’m making this up, but I swear I’m not. So I felt compelled to lighten her day.

The moment arrived. The attendant asked what I would like to drink and I proceeded to spit a mouthful of cards magically … her response … well to be truly honest there was no response … none … she just stood there waiting for my reply to her question … like she had seen thousands before me vomit cards! I gathered my composure and said … I’ll guess I’ll have a Coke. She poured the Coke handed me the glass, I said thanks and she said uhhuh … which appears to be quite common among service personnel.

Our connecting flight in Houston was from Terminal C to B and we had a whole 20 minutes to make the distance. Did I mention Bush International is really huge! If we had not been given a ride half way through our run on the concourse and the shuttle had been any fuller we would never have made the flight. We would also never have met Michelle our flight attendant.

Michelle was a breath of fresh air. Finally someone on a plane who likes her job. She treated everyone with respect and actually spoke to the passengers. We even learned about her two kids, Megan and Ben. Continental should look at people like this to teach the others that taking a little interest in their jobs can be rewarding!

I’ll be writing to Continental to express, not my disappointment in the first flight but instead my satisfaction in the second leg of my journey. A direct result of Michele and the other flight crew members. Hannah wants me to add that Michele took the time to ask the pilot if she could push a button or two once we had landed! The Captain complied and Hannah now thinks we should always fly on that plane … oh if that was the case I would probably begin to like flying again.

I guess it’s time to try a few other carriers like Singapore Airlines and Virgin Atlantic. Rumor has it they understand customer service …

The best made plans …

Well PCAM 2008 is over and I am officially tired. Each year I set aside these four days to be with the people who have helped to shape my career. Most of the “old guard” have passed and those that remain are my childhood friends of magic.

The convention was a huge success as it was lots of fun. My friend, Kevin Cardona did an outstanding job of putting things together. I was honored to be asked to book the acts and organize the ProChallenge contest. Both of these events were spectacular. Several of the acts in the gala show were even given partial standing ovations! Andrew Goldenhersh had them leaping to their feet with his finale.

The convention would never have been the success it was without my friends all agreeing to participate at what I call “you like me” rates! Once again thanks guys! Special thanks to Brian Cook, Dean Hankey and Steve Kline for making the tech side so much easier … it used to be just me!

My show was less than perfect. I was the host of the ProChallenge and the first half of the show went quite smooth. There were no delays in the set up of acts and with the new addition of interviewing acts between their sets made it interesting and smooth. After the intermission I was given some time to entertain while the ballots were tabulated.

I started with my hands and cups routine with a delightful young boy named Carson who apparently lived in the area and came to the show to see me! Turns out Carson saw my full evening show on the Norwegian Star on a cruise to Mexico. He was perfect for the routine and it rocked the crowd.

Now with audience firmly in the palm of my hand I decided to present the world premiere of an illusion. Truth is this was prototype #12 of an effect I have done since 1988. With the help of a friend, Ryan Pilling, and an hour of practice I was certain this new version was going to rock the room! Basically I was going to vanish from the middle of the stage, a silk handkerchief was going to fly from my hands and across the stage and off into the wings where I would reappear! Sounds good huh? The effect was fool proof … ok maybe not fool proof. The flying of the cloth was to act as the misdirection for the vanish. The moving silk would redirect the audiences attention away from my position at center stage so they would not see the vanish … it would have worked too … well if the silk had flown anywhere! So it just sat right there in front of me and didn’t fly …anywhere … oh I disappeared and reappeared … it just wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Oh well life goes on. No it really does. In fact in the world of entertainment it was already “going on” and I had to continue on with the show. I introduced my favorite routine, Shape of my Heart and at the conclusion the crowd went wild … nice!

Well that’s proof the the best made plans sometimes …. aren’t.

Well were packed and on the road back to Los Angeles for the evening. Then a quick couple of flights to Kentucky where I’ll make a quick trip to Branson and then prepare for the big contests …

Freedom of speech …

I am a firm believer in the freedom of speech. I don’t even take issue with the literature that abounds from such groups as the National Socialist White People’s Party or the Ku Klux Klan. You see I believe everyone can say whatever they want to and I have the choice to listen or not! In fact listening to others with different beliefs can help you to form an educated and informed decision. How can I say I disagree with something if I really don’t know what they stand for in the first place?

Why this subject. Well it’s because of an article today in the Province Newspaper here in BC. A Toronto comic, Guy Earle, has being called before a BC Human Rights Tribunal to account for his actions while doing his show at Zesty’s restaurant in Vancouver. You can get Earle’s side of the story by watching the youtube video of a recent radio interview. The other side of the story is that of Lorna Pardy who charges that Earle verbally assaulted her and her partner with derogatory comments. Hmmm?

From Earle’s account of the story, the couple came in late during the show, sat near the front and made out and finally heckled him. If this is the truth, then anything is fair game as far as I am concerned. Don’t go to a comedy club and heckle the comic. I know … haven’t I seen the footage of Michael Richard’s and his racial rant in a comedy club? I did and I know he was wrong … I personally would not attack the heckler with racial slurs but I sure as hell would have used my best heckler material to shut them up. If you don’t put a heckler in their place, which is in the audience, listening and laughing, then you will get your butt kicked by the whole audience when they smell blood! If the audience doesn’t join in the fun of picking on you they will certainly leave with the feeling your not very good as you couldn’t control the crowd. Take it too far and the audience will side with the heckler and then you lose too.

Oh did I mention that Earle’s heckler’s were lesbians? No! Well that’s because it doesn’t matter. The news however thinks this is the prime part of the case and the fact that the comic attacked them with comments about their orientation is why he is going before a tribunal. Apparently comedy shows are not what they used to be when I worked them years ago. I can understand if you were attending a function and the surprise entertainment was a comedian. You now have a different set of circumstances. You are at an event and the comedy is thrust upon you. Your options, listen or leave. If you don’t like the show, don’t go. If you’re already there and you find it to be less than entertaining, well leave! Don’t ruin it for everyone and don’t expect the entertainer to change just for you!

From Pardy’s view it is uncalled for to bring in to public light for ridicule her sexual orientation. Ms. Pardy alleges that she and her same-sex partner were subjected to a tirade of homophobic and sexist comments by Mr. Earle.”

Despite everything I have written this is not the reason I write this rant. The reason for the rant is my objection to a local comic Mark Dennison. In the Province article it reports: And from what he’s heard, he said, the material Earle supposedly used was “mean-spirited” and a “pointed attack” based on “completely wrong assumptions.” “Comedy is inclusive. We laugh because we see commonality,” he said. “I don’t think anything is off-limits as long as it is handled in a way that shows us what makes us the same.” If anyone should be Earle’s ally it would be a fellow comic. Even the Western Standard made note in their blog by saying “Mr. Earle is getting no help from someone who should be an ally”. For me the moment the article said “from what he’s heard” I was confused. What do they mean “from what he’s heard”? He wasn’t there? He didn’t watch the youtube video? Didn’t speak to Ms. Pardy? Where did he hear what he heard?

That’s why I am giving no opinion on this particular case. I don’t know Ms. Pardy or Mr. Earle and I don’t know enough about the case to make an informed decision. I however, can and did state my opinion on how one should conduct themselves when attending a comedy show and what should happen when one does not follow these simple protocols for being an audience member.

Freedom of speech is the backbone of our society, just don’t exercise it from the audience during a comedy show, unless you want a little “freedom of speech” coming right back at ya!

So ends my rant … you can agree or disagree … that’s you’re right. You can read this or not. That’s your right too. Isn’t it nice we have these rights? Imagine if we lived somewhere else where we didn’t have rights.

“Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. Some are bigger than others. Most of them stink!” -me

Each day is a lesson …

So everyday I seem to learn something new about myself. Like today I learned I don’t like yard work either! I don’t like to mow lawns, dig holes, plants bushes, shovel sand, lay ground cover, install edging or anything else that has to do with landscaping!

I also learned I get angry and loud much quicker in situation where I have little or no knowledge, other than that gleamed from the internet. I learned that spending a couple of grand on a new lawn does not necessarily mean you will have a nice lawn. Especially if there is an infestation of Chaffer bugs in your community. Not to mention the folks who put in the lawn gave you one that was already infested! So these little buggers eat the roots of the grass which kills the grass and the grubs are apparently really tasty to crows and raccoons who tear up your lawn for food. Life just keeps getting better! I remember when the hard decision of my day was whether or not to go ashore and lay on the beach of just stay on the ship and sit by the pool!

“Strange how much you’ve got to know, before you know how little you know.” Anon.

Legal Tender …

Take a bill out of your pocket. If you live in Canada it says right on the note “Bank of Canada - This Note is Legal Tender”. By definition this means it can be used at its face value for all debts public and private. Oh but wait, now days we have counterfeiters of $100 notes so there is always the chance the bill could be bogus! For this reason many businesses have taken up the practice of not accepting $100 notes! Ok, let me get this right. You have a business in Canada. You obtain a business license that outlines what you can and cannot sell, how to conduct your business, hours you can operate, etc. Then you open your store in a local community and proceed to not accept the legal tender of the nation! What? That would be like me opening a dollar store and then only accepting dollar coins (loonies)! Well you know I don’t want to have to make change and stuff!

I understand the owners of these stores don’t want to risk accepting counterfeit notes, which is why they should invest in a machine that detects this sort of thing. Can’t afford to buy a machine? Well they sell lights that work just as well. Heck, can’t afford the light, buy the damn pen that you mark with to expose the fakes! Don’t want to spend a dime! Well then educate your employees with free online programs like this one CLICK.

I for one have decided to no longer spend my money at establishments that don’t accept all forms of Canadian currency. If I am forced to use their business I am going to only use Credit Cards because they loose up to 3% on every transaction. Sometimes a transaction fee on top too! That means I will be buying three separate admissions to the cinema that is the only place to see the newest kids film Hannah is dying to see! Yup, I’ll be the guy taking up the time in the line, sorry!

I really dislike seeing these signs and if you just go on supporting places that have adopted this practice, it’s only going to spread. Soon they won’t accept $50’s and $20’s … and if you don’t think that will happen … just wait and see!

So ends the rant …

“If you owe the bank a $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 Million, that’s the banks problem.” J.Paul Getty

Triskaidekaphobia …

No US military vehicle has it, most buildings in North America ignore it, Microsoft’s Office suite jumped over it, commercial airlines don’t offer seats with it, formula one racing forbids it’s use as does the Atlanta Braves baseball franchise! So what’s so funny! I am afraid of the number 13! I just want to make it clear I am not a Paraskavedekatriaphobia. This is an individual who is afraid of Friday the 13th’s. I’m afraid of all 13’s!!!

I wrote back at the end of March that I had a fear that most thought foolish. I wrote: “Although the definition is an “abnormal fear”, for me it’s not abnormal. It’s a a real fear, having lost my first apartment to a flood on September 13, 1985, my second apartment to a fire on May 13, 1988 and my current home having a car drive into the living room on June 13, 1997. For those of you who want to check, they are all Fridays. So don’t expect to see me doing anything particularly dangerous on a Friday the 13th. In fact it is quite rare to find me leaving the house … which apparently isn’t that safe anyways! This year there will be a Friday the 13th in June and I am scheduled to be completing the shooting of the ESPN, TSN and FOX Sports show Fins and Skins in the Dominican Republic. Yeah me in a boat in the open ocean on a Friday the 13th … that should make real good TV!”

Well it’s June 13th and I am not in the Dominican Republic. In fact I am sitting quietly in my home watching the day slowly pass. With any luck my home won’t flood, burn or be the target of anymore automobiles! I keep playing with the idea of going to the shop to complete the new illusion I have been working on but the thought of power tools today is … well quiet frankly … frightening!

I am reminded of the joke where the comedian says he is having a rough day. That when he got out of bed and open the bedroom door the door knob fell off. When he picked up his briefcase the handle fell off too. Which explains why he has gone pee all day!

For those of you who still think I am a weirdo let’s take a closer look …

This is the symbol of the Knights Templar. They were among the most famous of the Western Christian military orders. The organization existed for approximately two centuries in the Middle Ages. On Friday October 13, 1307, King Philip ordered de Molay, the Grand Master of the Templars and scores of other French Templars to be simultaneously arrested, tortured into giving false confessions, and then burned at the stake.

It is believed that Loki in the Norse pantheon was the 13th god. More specifically, Loki was believed to have engineered the murder of Baldr, and was the 13th guest to arrive at the funeral. This perhaps relates to the superstition that if thirteen people gather, one of them will die in the following year.

According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business, taking flights or even getting out of bed. “It’s been estimated that [US]$800 or $900 million is lost in business on this day”

The British Medical Journal, one of the most popular and widely-read peer-reviewed general medical journals in the world, did a study showing that there is a significant increase in traffic-related accidents on Fridays the 13th.

Well, I’m off to read a good book. Worse that can happen is a paper cut!

In 2009 it will be a record year as there will be three Friday the 13th’s … looks like I should be looking for some good books to read next year too!

STOP LAUGHING!

“In life there is really only one thing you totally control. Your character.”

NY to Vegas in just 18 hours!

It’s not always easy to travel. For me it seems to just get harder and harder. I had gone to bed the final evening of FFFF at half past four in the morning and was awoken by the alarm from my iPhone at 8 AM. I had a quick shower and headed to the lobby at 8:30 AM to meet the shuttle to the airport. It was a fun ride with friends and upon arrival at the airport I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

I approached the DELTA Airlines counter which seemed quite barren and was promptly told my flight had been canceled. No explanation for the cancelation but I was told I could get on the 6:45 PM flight. It was not yet noon and they expected me to kill the entire day in the airport. I explained how important it was for me to get to Vegas and they actually switched me to US Airways on a flight leaving at 2:30 PM … sweet!

Well I checked by only bag and headed off to the security where I was flagged as SSSS which means I get the full meal deal when it comes to be “checked”. I seem to get this a lot. Maybe it’s the hair? After my free rectal exam I went on search of food and found Ali Bongo and a few fellow 4fer’s hanging out and shared a table and devoured a Caesar Salad. I headed off to my gate a little ahead of schedule and I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

A super great guy named Lou asked me If I was planning to take the flight to Vegas. I replied yes and he said, it wasn’t looking good. There was a mechanical delay in Philadelphia and the plane would probably not make it here to make it’s connection in time. I explained how I had to get to Vegas as I HAD PLANS! He told me there was nothing he could do and I replied by doing a magic trick and saying nothing was impossible! Turns out Lou is a bit of a magician himself and we shared a couple of magic effects and I ended up in the first class lounge hanging out with Eric the bartender instead of a hard seat at the gate! When the plane did arrive there was still a small chance I could land in Philly and make my connection. The flight attendant, Annette, was also super cool and seated me in row 1 seat C, which is the closest seat to getting the hell off the plane! When the door opened I bolted for the connection but as I got close to the gate I could see no other people around and I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

The plane had left on time. I want to point out it is most likely the only plane to leave that day from any airport in the US that met it’s schedule. The airports were all at level Orange and almost every plane was delayed. I suspect it is some tactic employed by the Federal Aviation Administration to disrupt terrorists plans.

I was given a new ticket on the 6:15 PM flight and I sat back to listen to some music and practice some of the techniques I had acquired while at the FFFF. I had about an hour and forty minutes to kill so I took a little walk and as I headed back to the gate I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

That’s right this flight was delayed due to mechanical issues and we would be leaving around 8 or 9 PM … but hey that’s just a tentative time …

Around 8 PM we were informed of a gate change and headed to the other end of the airport. There I sat and made friends with a couple of folks from the UK. Maurizio, was an Italian guy living in the UK who was originally from Italy. He has a restaurant in Southport and apparently I have an open invitation to dine there some day. I am so looking forward to seeing his face when I walk through his door! Another reason to head back to the UK.

US Airways finally announced the arrival of our plane and were loaded up and ready to go at 9:30 PM. As we taxied out towards the runway I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

The pilot came on with a message from the flight deck. Seems we might be spending a bit of time on the ground before we were expected to actually take off. Ok it wasn’t that bad. We sat for about 30 minutes and we were finally in the air. I would like to give you a review of the flight, meal and attendants service but .. I slept the entire trip. Woke to find we had landed in Vegas and I was on my way to fun. After collecting my bag I headed to catch a taxi and on the way to the stand I got a funny feeling it was going to be one of those days I won’t soon forget!

I have traveled countless time to Vegas and have never seen a cue for the taxi’s so long that it took nearly a full hour to get a damn ride to the hotel!

I finally checked into the Orleans Hotel at 2:30 AM … which means from hotel to hotel my trip took a total of 18 hours! Oh I know I am being dramatic … there is that 3 hour time change so I was only traveling for 15 hours … geez what a whinner!

[ trivia from the brain of Shawn: most folks would think that DELTA Airlines got it's name from the fourth letter in the Greek Alphabet, or perhaps the term DEscription Language for TAxonomy which is a flexible method for encoding taxonomic descriptions for computer processing. You may have even thought of the DELTA Force of the US Military as it is so elite! Well you are all WRONG! DELTA stands for Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport! ]

Flying …

Why is it whenever you think it’s going to be something, it’s almost always less than you had hoped for in the beginning? Have you ever wanted something so bad and when you finally got it, it wasn’t “all that”? How about, have you ever got on an airplane and thought to yourself, “this is going to be fine”.

OK, I know I complain a lot about flying. But you have to understand I spend a lot of time flying and I just haven’t gotten the hang of it being “FUN”. If you ask me, flying puts the FU in fun!

Check in was fun. The gentleman behind the counter was quite funny and shared a few jokes with me. Just as we were finishing up, guess who was checking in next to me today? Well no other than Gene Simmons of KISS fame. I did a little “something or other” for a film he did in Vancouver called Runaway, so I just walked up and said howdy. He pretended to remember me and I was on my way.

So, the plane is forty-five minutes delayed (that’s airline talk for late) and there is no announcement or apology. Think of it this way, if you were forty-five minutes late (delayed) arriving for your flight … do you think they will wait? OK. So it’s delayed no problem, I have internet and I am addicted to the World Wide Web. When the plane does arrive and I get to board I make it to my seat with no issue and I am ecstatic to see this is not one of those flights where everyone has a giant carry on bag that eclipses the one I checked in at the start.

I got into my seat by the window and hoped it would not be a full flight. Sometimes I get the person next to me who uses all the arm rest and pokes me in the ribs, other times the person is far too big for a single seat, or maybe they can’t help but pass gas because of age, once in awhile I get a person in front who puts their stuff under the seat instead of in front, or that person who somehow manages to get their feet under their seat so they keep kicking yours. This time I had it all! Oh and to top it off I had a guy behind that when I lowered back my seat actually reached up to the top of my chair and forcefully shoved my seat upright and then in a loud voice said “there’s not enough leg room back here for me, for you to be reclining!” The flight attendant came over and gave me a dirty look and asked if everyone would just compromise a bit since it was a short filght. Well I curled up tight to window and in a completely upright position …tried to sleep. Hey it’s was only four and half hours …

Chicago is a fun airport. Heck it even has a dinosaur! I grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed to my next gate. Surprise the gate was changed and the flight was delayed (that’s airline talk for late). While waiting in the terminal I practiced some new card stuff and attracted a crowd of folks who were fun. On the plane I was surprised to be greeted by the same flight crew …oh joy! I was given the middle seat in the back non-reclining row and this time just closed my eyes and waited for New York!

The good news I found my luggage in seconds and was greeted by an old friend, Greg Frewin who was taking me back to Niagara Falls for the evening and in the morning I’ll be visiting his theatre. Tomorrow will be an awesome day ..after all … I won’t be on a plane!

This is awesome …

I would like to thank my friend Glen LaBarre for emailing me the link to this incredible video on youtube. As the Father of a seven year old, I sometimes fear what kind of world I have brought her into and what the future holds for her. I know Hannah is a strong person and will overcome any roadblocks put in her path because of the teachings and lifestyles I and my extended family have provided. What I don’t know is what of this beautiful planet will be left for her if things continue the way they are today.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a radical environmentalist, crazed conservationist, whale loving, tree hugging hippie or any of the other standard labels given to those that believe deeply in the environment. I’m just a Father looking at the past and comparing it to the projected future and I’m scared.

I have seen all the pro’s and con’s, listened to all the speakers and read lots of articles and all I know for sure is that things are changing. Weather for one thing! Just tell me this past year has not had some super odd weather! In fact these past few years have seen major changes in weather patterns. I’m not going to be the one to point a finger or offer a solution because I’m just a guy who does card tricks. What I can do however is make other people accept that things are changing and maybe one or two of them will be able to affect some change, or influence someone else who can help … all I know is this video gave me shivers …

Family and friends … all you really need …

I was away from home this weekend having a blast at Hank Lee’s and thinking how great it is to be able to do the things I do. How fortunate I am to be loved by so many and to have such great friends.

At the same time, back at home, my friend Mario was experiencing something so much grander, it’s hard to express. You see Mario is a super great guy with an outstanding family. He is a soft spoken, fun loving father of four and he devotes so much of his life to making sure his sons have the best.

His life has not been without challenges. Supporting a family of six is a challenge in itself, but he and his Wife Kristie have also basically adopted two young girls who’s Mother was less than capable of caring for their needs. They also have a son, Nickolas, who faces challenges that would destroy those of us with less strength. Nicholas is in a wheelchair and recently had surgery to correct an 86 degree curve in his spine. Many thought he could not survive the fifteen hours of surgery he would have to endure … but he did … and life is much better for our little hero.

After all these challenges Mario has found out he has Cancer. Not being the guy to sit down and act defeated he and his incredible family did something positive. They had a “walk, run or crawl for Mario” and by the looks of the photo’s I missed a very special event.

When it comes to conquering challenges all you really need is family and friends …

Family & friends ...

Ok everyone ... follow me ...

Hey ... wait for me ....